I have spent much of my life searching, for something, it has been like an elusive shape shifter, a great big ache inside of me – I tried the usual range of options to fill the void, food, men, love, holidays, alcohol, parties, gossip, drama…distractions…they all worked for a while, but within hours, days, weeks and months the ache was back again. I call in the hole in my soul, you can call it loneliness, a pain, a missing, call it whatever you want – it exists within all of us.

Some people never address it, they tell themselves stories about how they are not ‘like everyone else’, about how ‘all they need is another drink/partner/holiday/gadget and they will be ok’. They spend their lives running away from themselves – but this is not something that you can’t actually outrun, it is you, and you live with you 24/7. If you become aware of it (not everyone will), it is something that you have to address for the sake of your own happiness and sanity!

It is something that I have spent the last few weeks doing for myself, because I finally had enough of using all of the distractions to ‘paper over the problem’ I had been doing the same rubbish over and over again for years (the definition of insanity right). I have done some sound healing, book reading, youtubing/TED watching, talking to friends and family and writing (everything I discuss in my Time Management for Entrepreneurs book). Finally addressing what I needed to do to fill me up, I now know what it feels like to be whole from the inside out. It has been a painful, challenging journey, that has shaken me to my inner core, but it has also allowed me to recognise just how strong I truly am when I need to be and it has enabled me to meet the real and beautiful person that I always knew I was meant to be.

I have found my new and sustainable drug of choice…love and self-respect.

I am so grateful to all my teachers for giving me the lessons that I needed to learn in order to know how to truly love and respect myself and for giving me a glimpse of my future, the next book that I am going to write – How to fill the hole in your soul.

Below is some practical advice for anyone that this blog may have struck a cord with – awareness is the key to change, and you must want to change, some people will always hide in distractions (it is a personal choice) – but if you truly want inner peace then start by practicing step 1 below:

Step 1: Observe the activities that you do to hide your pain, distractions, addictions, habits etc, and then lovingly ask yourself why you do what you do, and then coach yourself slowly out of it, by saying:

“I no longer need X to make me feel better – I can choose to feel better, because I know that how I feel about XYZ is my choice – I am a powerful creator and I create my own reality, I choose not to be a victim of my past!”

In my next blog I will share some more steps that you can try to begin working out how to fill the hole in your soul, in the mean time…

Live, Love and Believe in yourself…you are truly amazing!!!